Greetings on this wonderfully rainy day!
He was a quiet young man; well groomed and well spoken. As he sat in my office he told me his story. How he had been involved with some criminal activity when he was younger, and how he had never been caught for a crime he committed, but how guilt and fear had led him away from his home state to seek a new beginning. He spoke of going to school and getting an education and a good job, of meeting a beautiful young woman, falling in love and asking her to marry him. She had said yes and the preparations were underway for the wedding. And then the thing he had always dreaded came back to haunt him. He received notice that he was required to appear in court in his home state for a hearing concerning the crime for which he had never been caught. It had been several years, but now his past had caught up with him and warrant was out for his arrest.
“Did your fiancé know of your past?” I asked. “Absolutely,” he responded. “I don’t ever want to keep anything from her.” “So what are you going to do?” I asked. “I’m going home to face the charges. I have been in touch with the court, I have a lawyer. It was a non-violent crime so we are hopeful that they will dismiss or maybe give me community service or probation. They have letters from my employer and others who can vouch for me. But I have to stand up and take responsibility. How could I ever tell my children to be responsible if I’m not? I knew that this day might come one day, and now it has.”
He was in my office because he and his fiancé wanted to get married before he returned home to face the charges. They had the license. They had a letter from a counselor saying that they had undergone 10 hours of pre-marital counseling. They had a set of beautiful rings. They wanted to put their original plans aside and have their marriage blessed in a church. After talking with him, I talked with her.
“How do you feel about what he’s doing?” I asked. Without hesitation she answered, “I couldn’t be prouder.” We chatted some more, but that was all I needed to hear.
We went into the sanctuary and they were married. It wasn’t what they had originally planned. It wasn’t full of pomp and circumstance. But they stood in God’s sanctuary and lovingly entered into the covenant that was so important to them: the covenant of Holy Marriage. Rarely have I been privy to such a beautiful ceremony, because in the course of just a few conversations over the phone and in my office, in those few minutes it took to perform the ceremony and to ask God’s blessing on their marriage, I knew that this marriage was off on the right foot, no matter what might happen in a courtroom next week.
We live in an era where personal responsibility seems to be on the wane. Everywhere you turn, someone seems to be blaming someone else for their problems. From the hall of congress to the halls of our schools, it always seems to be someone else’s fault. But this young man gave me a glimmer of what personal responsibility really means. It means truly taking the consequences for our actions, repenting of our wrongdoing, asking forgiveness, and moving forward. It is a lesson all of us, in minor and major ways, need to heed well.
As they left, he told me that he would let me know what happened, and God willing, would do it in person, very soon. I pray that I do see him again, because I’d like to thank him reminding me how we are supposed to live out our faith.